Valentines can be hard sometimes. (but still a fantastic day for people who wish to celebrate their love, I wholeheartedly approve) If you are single though, Sometimes you may wonder, how many times can you possibly get ‘mugged off’ before you find someone who is going to stay? How many frogs do you have to ‘kiss’ to find your prince or princess? Did you do something wrong to have not had anyone that you’ve dated or been ‘talking too’ want to stay?
The answer is don’t let yourself, maybe a few more, and no.
We’ve all been there, we’ve all felt alone, or unloved. (You are never unloved) And because of this, we feel negatively towards ourselves, and sometimes that feeling shifts onto our appearance and our bodies. Blaming them, using them as the excuse for why you are not in love, or that someone is not in love with you. (But if someone is only in love with you for your appearance, then they are not the one)
No matter how hard someone preaches body positivity and loving oneself, they will have felt negatively towards themselves at some point. (I know I have)
This is because we put too much of our self-esteem into the hands of other people. We allow other people to be the scale on which we measure our self-worth. We compare ourselves. How could we do that? How could we let the actions of other people dictate the way we feel about ourselves, the way we treat ourselves?
I’ve genuinely been told I’m lonely by people in relationships just because I am single. I have been made to feel like not having a partner is actually a bad thing, but actually, personally, I like to think it’s a blessing. (I have freedom to grow and succeed in my own time.) The more I think on it, I set high standards for myself and what I want, and thats the main reason why i am not with someone. Not many people manage to get past the first few stages. And that’s okay.
Being in a relationship is fantastic, and if you are in one, then I am genuinely happy for you.
But for the single ladies and gents, I implore you to not settle. To set high standards for yourself so that you don’t waste your precious time on someone who in the long run, is not the person for you.
Of course, that doesn’t mean, don’t give people a chance, or shut it down immediately If they don’t tick all your boxes. These experiences teach you lessons, so eliminating that would be stunting you own personal growth.
What I mean to say is. Love yourself enough to only put your full self, resources and love into someone who you are sure about. Love yourself enough to focus on you until then. Love yourself enough to not give in to the social expectation that you should settle. Love the ‘lonely’ away. Love the hate away. Love your body enough to know it deserves better than to be abused by someone who has no real interest in you. Love yourself first.
As RuPaul would say, “If you don’t love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?”
Thepositivemindsbody 